Family & Consumer Sciences

Traditionally, the holiday season is associated with times of

good cheer and friendly feelings. The reality, however, is often something else – depression. In fact, depression is

rather common

both during and after the long winter holiday season.

Depression is an emotional state in which the sufferer feels sad, lonely, and dejected, usually accompanied by negative thinking, and often involving physical symptoms such as fatigue and headaches.

There are many reasons for depression during the holiday season, but one common factor is that we often have unrealistic expectations for the holidays. The buildup may last a month and a half, and then, suddenly it’s over. In addition to the quick ending, the long holiday season may not turn out to be all that we had anticipated. Keep your expectations positive but realistic; don’t set yourself up for disappointment.

Popular images, such as those that may be promoted on television, paint an unrealistic image of perfect families having perfect holiday celebrations—an ideal that few of us can attain. For many people, large family gatherings can be depressing because of internal problems such as illness, death, divorce, or certain family members simply not getting along with each other.

Other major reasons for depression include loneliness, the financial aftermath of holiday shopping, and even disappointment over presents received.

Alcohol consumption goes up during the holidays, compounding the problem. When people who are already depressed consume too much alcohol, which in essence is a depressant drug, their problems can multiply.

Anyone is susceptible to holiday depression, regardless of age, sex, or background. Generally, it most greatly affects those people who feel they have a lack of control over their lives. When things are going wrong and they feel powerless and without anyone to turn to or confide in, depression sets in. These usually are individuals without a strong social network, be it family or friends. This doesn’t mean you need a lot of friends, but you do need someone who will be there for you.

One of the best ways to combat holiday depression is by participating in activities with other people. Visit a nursing home; go to a holiday service at a church, synagogue, or temple; play in the snow with your favorite little person, or sing Christmas carols— it’s much harder to be depressed when you’re doing something worthwhile with people you enjoy.

Don’t feed depression by dwelling on it, but do listen respectfully to your depressed feelings and see if they have an important message for you. Maybe your depression is calling out for a major change in a relationship or in your lifestyle. Perhaps you need to forgive yourself or another person and make a fresh start. Maybe it’s time for a shift in attitude or a wonderful new adventure. A good friend may be able to help you sift through the possibilities.

To a large degree, the thoughts we choose determine our feelings. Count your blessings, feed yourself spiritually, and strive to maintain an undaunted, positive attitude. You want to be realistic about your situation but, at the same time, look at what you have rather than what you don’t have.

It is absolutely not true that only weak people battle serious depression. In fact, depression has stricken some of the most intelligent, capable, and creative individuals: Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Vincent van Gogh, and Emily Dickinson, to name just a few.

Seeking help with depression does not mean that you are crazy or that something is wrong with you. It doesn’t mean that you can’t handle your own problems. It’s just smart. Getting help when it’s needed is a sign of strength and intelligence, and not of weakness. Successful people know when to seek expert advice.

Most depression is relatively minor, but sometimes it can be quite serious and may have its roots in a treatable biochemical imbalance. If you are experiencing extreme or extended bouts of depression, get professional help as soon as possible. Generally speaking, depression responds very well to treatment, and usually does so in a fairly short time.