They go in as a pair. But only one comes out.

Have you ever wondered what happens to the pair of socks that you put into the clothes dryer? Why is it that only one survives the tumbling wheel of the dryer? What happens to the missing sock? It went into the dryer, does not come out and cannot be found anywhere in the machine or even attached to the other clothing.

I have a theory. Of course, I cannot prove it, but I believe a Sock Gremlin lives in my dryer. I have never seen it, but I have heard it occasionally – you know that banging sound that sometimes occurs as you are drying a load of clothes. You stop the machine, take the clothes out and search for the source to no avail. You put the clothes back in and the banging starts again as soon as the dryer starts tumbling. It’s the Sock Gremlin chasing my socks around-and-around until it finally catches one.

So what does a Sock Gremlin do with his captive socks? I have a theory about that too. I think the clothing menace tears them up into little fuzz balls that stick to all the other pieces of clothing I have put into the dryer. Not only does the Sock Gremlin steal and destroy my socks, it uses them to make the rest of my clothing look like they have been sprinkled with cloth spit balls.

I also think the Sock Gremlin gets a “kick-back” for stealing my socks and running my clothes from the folks who manufacture and sell lint removers. It’s a conspiracy. That has got to be the answer to the missing socks

What else could it be? There is no logical explanation for the disappearing socks – and I do mean disappearing, never to be seen or heard from again. They just never show up anywhere. They are gone forever – thanks to the Sock Gremlin!

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Happy birthday this week to: Randy Thompson, Bob Fields, Edna Grace Royal, Brandy Thompson, Viola Davis, Lori Pickett, Eddie Bolton, Gena Boynton, Jesse Williams, Sandy Lanier, Jan Griffin, Lois Godbee Wilson, Vaughna Roberts, Gloria Becton, Clint Davis Jr., Susan Welch, Tykeise Oliver, Zachary Keller, Janasia Brady, Blake Lane, Dee Dee Goodwin, Jake Bazemore, Caleb Graffagnio, Quinn Weaver and Brooks Brinson.

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Celebrating wedding anniversary are: Mr. and Mrs. Johnny Fleming, Mr. and Mrs. Hud McTeer and Mr. and Mrs. Chris Chance.

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Military Active Duty List: PV2 Jeremy Johnson, U.S. Army, 59th Quartermaster Company, Ft. Carson, Colorado; Ronnie Perryman, Charlie Troop, 108th Calvary Division, 4th Platoon, Afghanistan; Lance Cpl. Adam Lanier, U.S. Marines, 8th & I Marine Barracks, Washington, D.C.; E-4 Sr. Airman Roy Davis, U.S. Air Force, RAF Molesworth, United Kingdom; Lance Cpl. Patrick Barnette, U.S. Marines, Baharia, Iraq; Sgt. Adam Demshar, 44th Signal Battalion, Baghdad, Iraq; Cpl. Lee Ogden, U.S. Marines, Camp Pendleton, CA; E5 Petty Officer 2nd Class Eric B. Kelsey, U.S. Navy, NSA Naples, Italy; Senior Airman Charles F. Woods, Moody Air Force Base, Valdosta, GA; Stuart Burrus, U.S. Air Force, Osan AFB, Korea; SPC 4 Travis D. Motes, 1st Calvary Division, T. Hood, Texas; Capt. Donald Slade Burke, 735th Air Mobility Squadron Detachment 1 Commander, Richmond Royal Australian AFB, Richmond, Australia; Staff Sgt. Gilbert C. Sheppard III, 48th Brigade, 118th Field Artillery, Iraq; Petty Officer 3rd Class Jamie A. Yager, U.S. Navy, Marine Corps Base Hawaii; Petty Chief Officer Andy D. Crosby, U.S. Navy, Elroy Destroyer, Norfolk, Va.; Stephanie Crosby, R.N., U.S. Navy, Lafayette Destroyer; Jimmy Cooper, U.S. Army National Guard, 878th Engineering Battalion-Augusta, Persian Gulf ; 1st Lt. J.R. Taylor, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division, Iraq; SPC. Daniel Stuart, 18th MEDCOM, 121 General Hospital, Seoul, Korea; Jeffrey Sweat, U.S. Navy, USS Kauffman, MM3 59/E-Division, A-Gang, Norfolk, Va.; Cpl. Larry Lamont Clark, U.S. Marine Corp, 2nd Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C. Bagdad, Iraq; Khan Young, U.S. Navy, U.S.S. Kitty Hawk, Persian Gulf; Robert Milton Jr., E-3, U.S. Army, Ft. Stewart, Hinesville, Ga., Mission Kuwait; Arnold R. Mosley, 2nd Lt., U.S. Air Force, Randolph AFB, Texas; and Debra A. Mosley, Tech. Sgt., U.S. Air Force, Randolph AFB, Texas; and SPC Charles “C.J.” Amerson, U.S. Army, Camp Adder, Iraq.