Ladies, I hope this doesn’t happen to you on Valentine’s Day next week.

A Thoughtful Valentine’s Day Gift - Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine’s Day. “Yes,” was the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist. “I’ve bought her a belt and a bag”

‘’That was very kind of you,” Jim added, “I hope she appreciated the thought.”

Tony smiled as he replied, “So do I, and, hopefully, the vacuum cleaner will work better now.”

If you’re not smiling, read on.

“Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local bar. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, “I’ll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just $10, but on one condition.”

The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance, “What’s your condition?” Phil answered, “Tell me your wish in just three words.”

There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, “Clean my house.”

******

Happy birthday this week to: Marty Thompson, Brett Burke, Hank Joyner, Jeremy Dailey, Tyler Troisi, Bob Dwelle, Blais Chance, Rhett Smith, Patricia Mincey, Tim Clark, Cori Brinson, Ray Roberts, Tyiese Cooper, Willie Baldwin, Johnnie M. Green, Demarius Baldwin, Marshella Herrington, Emily Pierce, Carroll Gay and Chasity Wilkerson.

******

Military Active Duty List: SSGT Jeremy Chestnut, U.S. Air Force, Keesler AFB, Biloxi, MS; E-5 SSgt Roy T. Davis Jr., U.S. Air Force, RAF Lakenheath, United Kingdom; Spc. Jeremy Allen Johnson, U.S. Army, 59th Quartermaster, Afghanistan; Spc. Joe Boone, U.S. Army, 877th Engineers, Afghanistan; Akeam Williams Sr., U.S. Army, Afghanistan; 1LT Justin Grey McBride, U.S. Army, 1st Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment, 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team, Vicenza, Italy; Lt. Col. James E. Davis, U.S. Air Force, Department Of Defense Inspector General’s Office, Pentagon; Sgt. Darcelyn M. Kimbro, U.S. Army, Fort Gordon, Augusta, ; Specialist Jeremy Johnson, U.S. Army, 59th Quartermaster Company, Ft. Carson, Colorado; Cpl. Adam T. Lanier, 2nd Marine Division, 2nd Bt. 6th Marine Regiment, Weapons Co., Scout Sniper Platoon, Afghanistan; Cpl. Patrick Barnette, U.S. Marines, 29 Palms, California; Sgt. Adam Demshar, 44th Signal Battalion, Baghdad, Iraq; Cpl. Lee Ogden, U.S. Marines, Camp Pendleton, CA; E5 Petty Officer 2nd Class Eric B. Kelsey, U.S. Navy, NSA Naples, Italy; Senior Airman Charles F. Woods, Moody Air Force Base, Valdosta, GA; Stuart Burrus, U.S. Air Force, Shaw AFB, Sumter, S.C.; SPC 4 Travis D. Motes, 1st Calvary Division, T. Hood, Texas; Major D. Slade Burke, U.S. Air Force, 733d Air Mobility Squadron, Kadena AB, Okinawa Japan; Staff Sgt. Gilbert C. Sheppard III, 48th Brigade, 118th Field Artillery, Iraq; Chief Petty Officer Andy D. Crosby, U.S. Navy, Elroy Destroyer, Norfolk, Va.; Stephanie Crosby, R.N., U.S. Navy, Lafayette Destroyer; Jimmy Cooper, U.S. Army National Guard, 878th Engineering Battalion-Augusta, Persian Gulf ; 1st Lt. J.R. Taylor, 25th Infantry Division, Schafield Barracks, Oahu, Honolulu, Hawaii; SPC. Daniel Stuart, 18th MEDCOM, 121 General Hospital, Seoul, Korea; Jeffrey Sweat, U.S. Navy, USS Kauffman, MM3 59/E-Division, A-Gang, Norfolk, Va.; Cpl. Larry Lamont Clark, U.S. Marine Corp, 2nd Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C. Baghdad, Iraq; Khan Young, U.S. Navy, U.S.S. Kitty Hawk, Persian Gulf; Robert Milton Jr., E-3, U.S. Army, Ft. Stewart, Hinesville, Ga., Mission Kuwait; Arnold R. Mosley, 2nd Lt., U.S. Air Force, Randolph AFB, Texas; and Debra A. Mosley, Tech. Sgt., U.S. Air Force, Randolph AFB, Texas; and Staff Sgt. Charles “C.J.” Amerson, U.S. Army, Afghanistan.