2017-05-10 / Editorials

Mike Reese

“I was just thinking”

Why have we become a nation of busybodies? We want to know everything about everybody. Many, and it grows every year, want to tell everybody everything about themselves. You have an upset stomach, go straight to Facebook. Your partner makes you mad, Facebook again. Your baby pukes all over the car seat, it’s on Snapchat in five seconds. I’m not a Facebooker, a Tweeter, or a Snapchatter. I’ll tell only who I want to know that I’m going to the pharmacy for some jock itch cream, not the entire planet. I figure nobody really cares. Well, except Janice. She’s never had jock itch (that I know of), so she’d be mighty upset if I gave it to her.

But wait a minute. Am I the pot calling the kettle black? Yep, I’m the pot. Every week now for almost four years, I tell ya’ll, via this newspaper and a magazine, what “I was just thinking.” Did I ever imagine anyone cared about what “I was just thinking?” No, I just started writing and self-righteously assumed that you’d care about my thoughts. It’s an affliction that all columnists have, I suppose.

Thankfully, a decent number of ya’ll have told me that you enjoy my column or e-mail me to say good things. There was, though, a nice lady who told Janice that she should tell me to “stop writing that mess,” or was it “that trash”? I forget if it was “trash” or “mess.” But, just for the record, I prefer mess over trash and I’d bet that same nice lady is reading this “mess” right now. Gotcha nice lady. It’s OK. I’ll take you and all readers.

But there’s growth in an old fashioned way to let people in on what you think----bumper stickers. They used to be confined to the actual bumper. Now they’re splattered across the entire rear window, in six inch high letters, professionally installed. They’re “in your face” with their messages you, and your children, can’t avoid reading. I wrote down what three stickers proclaimed to me recently. “Earth first, we’ll strip mine the other planets later.” Drill baby, drill. “Shut up. Let someone with common sense speak for a change.” And my favorite, “Hold my beer and watch this,” meaning someone’s about to be seriously injured or locked up. Long ago I saw this one----“Read naked”, whatever, but it is important for all of us to read, clothed or unclothed, you decide. Try not to imagine this one, though.

In the elementary school drop-off line several weeks ago, I saw this on the rear window of a pickup, huge letters, “Call me a pipe fitter, because Bad_ ss is not a job title.” I had children in the car who practice their reading on everything they see, signs of all kinds and bumper stickers. “Papa”, one said. “Do you see that bad word on that truck?” she asked. Maybe “Dumb_ ss” should be his job title.

And on the web I saw this sticker. “Jesus loves you, but I’m His favorite.” I want that one.

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