2017-07-19 / Editorials

Mike Reese

“I was just thinking”

If you’re part of the 51% of the population (women), you may not like what I’ve written here. But I can only write about ya’ll from the 49% (men) perspective, since that’s what I’ve been for, well, a long time. And my forty-seven years of marriage gives me a pretty good additional platform to gauge you women by.

There have already been thousands of books written about women and books written about the complicated relationships between men and women. But I’m going to focus on a single aspect of our relationships that confuse men so frequently. That focus will be on what women say versus what they really mean. Many years of intense involvement with a woman gives me some authority on making that judgment. Let’s get started.

She says, “I’m over it.” Be careful men. You have to think long term. She may mean “over it” for now. But six months, or even six years from now, she’ll , if necessary, bring up that little factoid that she was “over it” back in 2010. But now…… Men, sit down, take a deep breath and try to understand why she’s really not “over it.” I know, this is a difficult assignment.

She says, “There’s nothing wrong.” Now’s when you’ll need to get in a quiet room, alone, and think back to every last word you’ve said to her in, at least, the last forty-eight hours. Maybe she cooked something special and you said it was OK, never looking up from Sports Center. She was looking for “delicious.” You gave her “OK”. So, there is something wrong.

She says, “I’m fine.” If you’ve been in a relationship for less than five years, you might believe this. Don’t believe it. It’s probably best to not probe too deeply here, at least for now. My experience tells me it’s best to walk away and probe deeper later. If she wants you to ask probing questions, you’ll eventually learn when that time is.

She says, “I don’t even care.” I think that all of us men know that’s just a lie. She cares. This is one you’ll have to decipher on your own. Tread lightly. This is like crawling around in an Iranian minefield.

She says, “Thing have just gotten weird between us.” Pal, you’re on the bubble here. Watch your back 24/7. You might be in for a big surprise. Probably not a good surprise either.

And finally, the biggie. She says, “My butt doesn’t look too big in this, does it?” or “How do I look in this?” She’ll change clothes three times until you figure it out and finally say, “Darling, that looks great on you, and your butt’s just right and by the way, haven’t you lost a few pounds?” Now you’re learning.

I’d like to hear the women’s perspective on these issues. Email me or send a letter to the paper. Is there a woman out there who’s confident enough to contradict anything I’ve written? I doubt it. Except for my wife, of course.

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